Terrible Programs Signs

TPS ended.
I am sad and feel broken
I am strong and will #resist
The end of the program does not directly affect my yet it makes me angry how much this policy will affect thousands of Salvadoreans and their baby children.
  • Current Music: Lady Gaga - Million Reasons

Juan Gabriel and Alexander Technique

Hello there,
today is Juan Gabriel's birthday.

I went to meditation at El Cajon today.
I learned of the opportunity through Finest City Improv.

The workshop is called Alexander Technique. It was the first time I had heard about it.
I learned how I need to catch my breathe
I listened to the teacher's advice and he observed my posture. He told me how I need to stop hunting for answers and just let it be. It is difficult for me to stop searching excessively for answers.
I have a hard time accepting facts and not question them.
Why am I always running away from pleasure?
You know sometimes I even question if I deserve to be happy.
I cry and know how much pain I have experienced.
Its silly to think that I do not know what to do with happiness and fairness
In my life I have not felt romantic love as much as I have felt pain.
It is stupid to think I do not deserve love.
Will I ever learn how it is acceptable to search for love and life?
I need to accept and let go
Otherwise life will pass me by
and the moment will leave

Every time you close your eyes you avoid the truth
Every time you open your eyes you can build
Every time you climb you rise
  • Current Location: San Diego, CA
  • Current Music: Coldplay - Paradise
like are you serious? for sure peanuts r

Meeting at Huntington Beach

This weekend was a whirlwind of grown up emotions
I kept feeling and thinking how silly to be concerned and infuriated it is.
Jairo told me how it is absurd to think of suicide "its as if you let the demons win if you think suicide"

Thankfully I have not been suicidial since February.
Speaking with my friends and going to Monrovia and Arcadia helped me see clearly.
There is so much I can offer to myself, others and my soul.
Yes, it will be difficult to change jobs yet it is time. My time to change is here.
I will keep doing improv. I will continue to cry, I will continue to grow and much more
the redness is incredible

Encountering Desencuentro

"Tu te duermes en mi hoy, yo despierto en tu ayer"
"Yo quiero llegar cuando tu te quieres ir"
"La casualidad de vernos se escapa"
"Somos diferentes cielos en un mismo mapa"

Cada vez que hoigo el piano o veo la lluvia caer en cemento o pavimento negro extraño a el metal chico
Ya tiene mas de seis años que nos conocimos y siento que fue aller
Nuestro mundo fui igual alguna vez
Los Dodgers van a jugar contra los Astros esta noche
Siento que el mundo va girando cada dia mas rapido
Por las noches me siento sola y avecez pierdo el rumbo
Yo estoy aqui en San Diego
Y mi amor esta en Los Angeles
Yo estoy aqui
Y el esta alla

Hoy es noche de brujas y me siento sola
Estoy vestida de la mujer increible y me siento como una mujer loca
Que quiere regresar a otra etapa donde tomava mas te de passion fruit
Cuando El todavia me llama en mi telefono y cuando podia llamarle sin preocupacio
mientras tanto yo estoy aqui
y el alla en su propio mundo
  • Current Mood: lonely lonely
  • Current Music: Residente - Encuentro

Think Blue, Why am I Blue?

Late last night the Dodgers battled against the Houston Astros at Chavez Ravine.
Puig was on the mound and could not defeat Verlander.
The red ginger beard was overcome by Correa.
It was a game full of emotion
The Dodgers were winning at first. Actually, the Astros scored first. The game was a rollercoaster of emotions, I saw the beginning at La Jolla's UTC with Evan who was visiting from the San Fernando for an interview. I was so exhausted and the record breaking heat made me feel worse.
It was 98 Fahrenheit yesterday in San Diego, California.

The Dodgers lost the second game of the World Series 2017.
I kept thinking how for the past 9 nine weeks my life has been a series of strikeouts and homeruns. Baseball makes me feel happy and forget for a moment the politics or circumstances of my life at work. I am on some dubious mapping challenge to score higher points and improve my accuracy. Thankfully I've been able to increase my location and production goals.
Nevertheless, sometimes I feel that the opposing team is scoring homeruns against me.
Watching the Dodgers battle and shut out players gives me courage. there is something great in watching the Dodgers play and run and strike.
Perhaps its only the nostalgia that takes me back to summer games or a magical time of going to dates at Chavez Ravine on an August night or eating Dodger Dogs at the all you can eat Pavilion. One fact remains true, I will believe in the Dodgers every day more, my love for the team remains constant. I may feel blue or lonely yet thinking about the Boys in Blue always brings a smile to my face.
With Blue Thoughts,

August Eclipse

Good afternoon,
today at 10:20 AM there was an eclipse. I had my sunglasses to see it, yet through it all, I somehow thought about Eddie and could not help to think about CSULB. It is mental how after 2 years of moving to San Diego I still think about him.
The mind is connected to the body and vice versa.
I am currently at my cubicle at work at SDGE and my shift is done. It is almost 3:30 PM and I need to schedule a massage yet somehow I cannot stop thinking about Eddie. I am insane. Now I am even dating a guy from here, well technically he is from El Centro and not from San Diego. Nevertheless, it is mental and exhausting how I am still not over Eddie. This is one douche move from the mind and spirit.
In life, updates I practice improv at Finest City at North Park in San Diego, CA and I enjoy it very much. It brings laughter and joy into my life. I have to go now. say yes!
  • Current Location: California, La Jolla
  • Current Mood: exhausted exhausted
  • Current Music: DeVotchka - The Winner Is
why is she frighten? took this from izic

Dalia Downer

Tonight I am Dalia Downer, I rented a car on Wednesday. I drove and parked all around East LA, Monterey Park, Pico Rivera, Downey. Parked it without a parking pass at home for 4hrs & now the tow truck took it. Talk about unexpected spending. It's 4am and I'm out of my mind.

Why is it that sometimes you are out in the world all day and you are safe only return home to bad news or unfortunate situations? Also, i think I am in denial about my aunts death. She passed on the 9th & I havnt cried. Anyways. Its 429Am, going back to sleep. I miss you douches bags!!

light, sight, fight, might

Why Do I miss you?
I see you when I walk around
I miss you when I drive through Pico Rivera and Downey.
Its insane how I sometimes think of you during lunch time.
I am out of my mind to see you through the wall
Time heals yet I am running after the fall
I yearn to be happy even if you are out of sight
Why can't I just find the right light?
I need to find an appropriate car to drive
The one I have I love yet it is not mine

I need to get by
I want to survive
I like to receive a high five
I am out of my mind
I miss you
You are now out of sight
People fight and run similar to a knight
Its late

Why do I still miss you, even after I find the light?

Sticky weather

This humidity is killing me. I am breaking out again.
Its the summer weather and sweat clogging up my mores. I cannot stand the heat and prefer cold weather. When is it going to rain again in Southern California? We are now in a 9 month drought and conditions do not seem to improve in the near future.
We need to conserve more water, I am doing my part by taking shorter showers and saving water by washing the dishes on the machine rather than hand washes.